Plain Lame
Pick Up Lines
Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I
see!
Baby, I'm no Fred Flintstone, but I can make your Bedrock!
Did you clean your pants with Windex? I can practically see myself in
them.
Do you have a boyfriend? [No] Want one? [Yes] Well, when you want a
MAN friend, come and talk to me.
Do you want to see something swell?
Excuse me, but you have a beep on your nose. What? (Reach up and gently
squeeze her nose) BEEP!
Excuse me, I'm a little short on cash, would you mind if we shared a cab
home together?
Hey babe, wanna make an easy fifty bucks?
Hi, the voices in my head told me to come over and talk to you.
I know I don't look like much now, but I'm drinking milk.
I'd marry your cat just to get in the family.
I've gotta thirst, baby, and you smell like my Gatorade.
My friend and I have a bet that you won't take off you blouse in a
public place.
No, I'm not a cop. What can I get for fifty bucks?
Pardon me miss, I seem to have lost my phone number, could I borrow
yours?
Pardon me, are you in heat?!
Should I call you in the morning or nudge you?
So, you're a girl huh?
Stand back, I'm a doctor. You go get an ambulance, I'll loosen her
clothes.
Want to come see my HARD DRIVE? I promise it isn't 3.5 inches and it
ain't floppy.
Would you like to come over to my place later? You can bring some
friends because my face seats five.
You know how they say skin is the largest organ? Not in my case.
You make my software turn to hardware!
You're so hot you melt the plastic in my underwear.
To a girl with braces, and if you have them as well: "Hey, wanna hook up
sometime?"
If you were a booger I'd pick you first.
Pardon me, have you seen my missing Nobel Prize around here anywhere?
Are you accepting applications for your fan club?
Hey baby... drop that zero and get with the hero in other words... you
better come with me.
Hey baby you're so fine you make me stutter, wha-wha-what's your name?
My name isn't Elmo, but you can tickle me any time you want to
Is your name Pepsi cause' I've gotta have it.
There's this movie I wanted to see and my mom said I couldn't go by
myself.....
Do you work for UPS? I could have sworn I saw you checking out my
package.
When I first saw you, I knew we could win the Stanley Cup in tonsil
hockey.
They call me "coffee". I grind so fine.
Which one of the Spice girls are you?
Male: Hey, I don't feel to good. Female: Why? Male: I feel like I have
an elephant in my stomach. Female: What? Male: (looking down) I think
his truck is already sticking out.
Hi, my name is Doug. That's "god" spelled backwards with a little bit of
you wrapped up in it.
This is a test of the emergency pick up line service. Beeeeeeeeeep. If
you had been any less beautiful, you would have just heard a bad pick up
line.
Hi. I'm an astronaut, and my next mission is to explore Uranus.
Guy: I bet you're a C-cup. Girl: How'd you know that? Guy: My testicles
are the same size.
My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can't hold it in
I'm bigger and better than the Titanic..... only 200 woman went down on
the Titanic
Can I take you to the Bone-yard?
I may not be dairy queen but I'll treat you right!!!
My love for you is like diarrhea. I can't hold it in.
Did you just sit in a water puddle, or are you just happy to see me?
Damn, have you been eating beans and rice lately?
I have a .357 magnum pointed at your kidney. Wanna go get some coffee?
I just shit into my pants. Can I get into yours?
Do you like magic? (Yes or No) I want to cast a spell on you with my
magic meat wand.
For what sort of person are you looking? Wait- don't tell me: medium
height, blue eyes, etc...
Roses are red, violets are blue, I have warts, so will you.
Don't worry about the missing teeth. It just means that there is more
room for your tongue.
Are you menstruating? If so, I know how to insert tampons.
I can see you. [Uh, yeah.] Great! Then how about tomorrow.
Hi, I'm foreign. I've got Russian hands and Roman fingers.
Excuse me. I'm from the FBI, the Fine Body Investigators, and I'm going
to have to ask you to assume the position.
If you were a chicken, you'd be impeccable.
Excuse me, but do you have tickets? (Tickets for what?) (Points to arm
and flex) To the gun show!
You remind me of Pokemon. I just wanna piccachu.
Beww BEWWW Beww (What?) That is the sound of the ambulance coming to
pick me up because when I saw you my heart stopped!
Good day for weather.
You know what you and corn have in common? (No) Absolutely nothing!
(laugh hysterically at yourself.)
I wet my pants... can I get in yours?
Are you Natasha, my contact?
You must be this beautiful (make hand gesture for small height) to ride
the me.
You know, when you and I get old and your son/daughter comes up to me
and says "Daddy, how did you meet mommy?" I'm gonna have to tell him/her
how quiet you were, or how difficult you were being."
OK, it's not very big and I'm not very good, but I've got the cutest
little way of getting on and off.
Drive around like a car and make screeching sounds and say "Uh, sorry,
my uh, breaks aren't working well. Where are you headed?"
It's not my fault I fell in love. You are the one that tripped me.
Um, you have really beautiful.....uh....eyes, yea. You are pretty. What
I mean is... You have a nice forehead. (Messing Up) Do you believe in
when I walk by..... (To yourself) Oh Man, shit, STUPID STUPID STUPID!
Ever tried to poop into a toilet when there's someone sitting there with
you? (nudge with elbow)
I'll give you a nickel if you tickle my pickle.
You must be an adverb, because you sure do modify me!
Excuse me. Do you put on a foundation before you put on a powder?
(Yeah.) Can I have your phone number?
I think you and I should dipthong.
Hi, I have my own place... well, my own room... in my parents
basement...
Put a pen and a $20 in your pocket. Approach the target and take out the
twenty and the pen. Rip the $20 in half and write your number on one
half. Give the target the other half, then say call me tonight so we can
figure out how to send that money, and walk away.
Did you invite all of these people? I thought it was just going to be
the two of us.
Your graphics are so beautiful that they rival Doom 3.
Can I try a few pick up lines on you? [give some good ones and some lame
ones] OK, I have just one more line for you: Can I try a few pick up
lines on you?
(Rub her forehead) Did you know that you've got "threesome" written on
your forehead?
My name is Justin. Justincredible.
Excuse me, but would you like to hold the priesthood?
Was your father a 'meat burgler'? It looks like somebody took fine hams
and shoved them down the back of your dress!
